Life is a journey. On that, I think, we can all agree. And it is certainly no stretch to call it "unexpected". That, however, is one of the greatest things about life. We cannot predict its twists and turns; we can only take them as they come. In the words of Tolkien:
"It's a dangerous business, [...] going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
It's true. It is a dangerous business. And as for keeping your feet; well, that's hardly a guarantee. In fact, if you do choose to step out your door, it's more of a guarantee that you will lose your feet. That's the beauty of it all.
In the past few years, I've come to realize all sorts of things about myself. Each one has been an important discovery for me; and some more surprising than others. I'm at a pivotal time in my life; a time in which change is generally the order of the day. There's no telling where I might end up, or what experience I might have that may change my outlook on life and my decisions. At any given moment, I could discover some new side of myself that I never knew existed.
This is especially true for me because I seek out new experiences constantly. I am not content to "maintain". I do not wish to remain one way, or have a single set of experiences and viewpoints from which to view the world for the rest of my life. I need more. I crave more. There is always a new challenge- a new 'adventure', if you will- waiting. How can I not continue to pursue such things? They push me beyond my limits, and offer me new ways of viewing and being a part of the world. Sometimes, they even open me up to a side of myself that I never knew about.
To realize what you want in the world, or what you need to do with your life, is a singularly astounding feeling. It's a long journey to get there, and to come to such a realization; but it is an amazing experience. Once realized, it is a seed that takes root in the very essence of your being. How can such an entity be ignored? It could be, perhaps; but at great cost to one's sanity and well being.
Time passes in an odd fashion when you are at the most pivotal moments. They come quickly and with little warning, but they create such a gap between the 'old you' and the 'new you' that it can seem as though eons have passed since the change.
How odd it is to stand on the edge of one such pivotal point and to be aware of the crossroads reached. Usually, such awareness does not come until after the fact, hindsight being 20/20. And so, while I type this and consider the twists and turns I've taken on my own life journey, I contemplate the sensation of having such knowledge right now. The crossroads has been reached, and I know which road I have to take.
I have stood at this crossroads before. It looks different to me now, so different that I almost did not recognize it; for a different set of eyes looked out upon it the last time I stood here. But I know that it is the same one. The last time I stood here, I was not prepared for the turn I now must make. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this; and I have no regrets about the different decisions I have made that have led me on my journey thus far. They have been necessary steps that have allowed me to realize where I truly belong. And so, I stand here once more, finally prepared to take the first steps down an entirely new road. Something stirs within me; anticipation for the road ahead, and perhaps the slightest modicum of trepidation. It is important for me to recognize and acknowledge these feelings; and I do. Each has their place, and if they were not there, something would be missing. But they tell me, more clearly than my logic and analysis ever can, that this right.
Have you reached your crossroads?
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